My (43F) husband (47M) is hyper aware of things that might embarrass him. Last night we were at a small public event when I had some drinks. He was the designated driver. It happened to be one of those nights when the alcohol was going straight to my head, so I asked the server if I could get a bottle top to reseal the beer I was drinking to take the rest home.
The beer was a high ABV barrel-aged beer, in quite a large quantity, so it wasn't just a typical bottle of beer. Otherwise I'd have just left it. Anyway, the server brought me a cork but it was too big for the bottle. I was trying to sand it down by rubbing it on the table when my husband told me to stop it because I was being "weird." This upset me because I'm sure no one was paying attention to us.
But I had to stop because once again he was being hyper aware of possibly being embarrassed. It ruined the night for me and although I was still polite to everyone, he could tell I was mad. We fought about it in the car on the way home but I don't think I was in the wrong. So, AITA for calling him out for being so unnecessarily sensitive and being upset?
Note: When I say that the alcohol was going to my head I mean that I could feel myself getting tipsy. That’s why I wanted to stop. I wasn’t loud talking, stumbling drunk and demanding a doggy bag for my beer.
It was a new release from this particular brewery that was a special fancy beer in a 500 ml bottle at 11% abv. It wasn’t cheap and I wanted to enjoy the rest of it when I was home where I could feel tipsy in comfort. I can understand if I was at a restaurant out for dinner this would be weird.
But this was a literal tasting party. I definitely wasn’t drunk and it’s not the first time I’ve taken something home that I didn’t finish from one of these things. In fact, when we go to these tastings, one of us always brings little bottles with us to pour the samples into because one of us has to be the DD. Usually it’s me. But this particular one we decided I could be the one to taste and he would drive home.
SoccerProblem3547 said:
YTA. Sanding down the cork on the table at a restaurant is not great behavior. That’s kinda embarrassing to do. Especially in your 40s.
Thatsocialcoach said:
YTA . It's a bit embarrassing to "sand down a cork" rather than just gracefully accept that you won't be able to take it home. I'd let this one go. Your husband didn't do anything wrong. He might’ve communicated it a bit better sure. But he wasn't rude.
Brownie-0109 said:
How badly did you really need to take that beer home? Maybe, in this case, the sober person was in a better state of mind? You seem a little old for this.
Salt-Improvement-263 said:
Yta...it does sound embarrassing, especially at your ages.
OriginalSchmidt1 said:
YTA, trying to sand a cork on a table IS weird and I’m sorry but if I was doing something weird in public, I’d want my fiancé to tell me. Maybe all that alcohol going to your head maybe made you a little overly sensitive in this case?
That’s happened to me before too.. I get it.. but idk I really wouldn't make this into a big thing unless he said it really loud and people turned to look...
Mysterious-Cake-7525 said:
NTA. It was a little weird, but who cares? Other than your husband obvs. I’m not advocating for divorce, but y’all might want to go to couples counseling if this is part of a larger pattern. I, personally, wouldn’t have married someone who would be embarrassed by me.
IllustriousBowler259 said:
Sanding down a cork on the table? How drunk were you, because that really wouldn't do much good and yes it would look weird. You both sound a bit sensitive, just about different things. ESH.